Akatsuki: The Musical! Act 1
by Ray Kamaura
Summary: Some of the Akatsuki members are board, so they decide to sing. Rated M due to changes that may very


Akatsuki

The Musical!

Written by: I'm Not Telling You My Name

Songs by: Numerous Artists

Ideas: Two are from Random Fan Flashes

Itachi(female role)

Kisame(male role)

Tobi(male)

Deidara(female)

Pein(male)X6

Sasori(male)

Konan(female)

Itachi- So board.

Kisame- So board.

Pein- Yes.

Kisame- Any bright ideas?

Deidara- Just working on my art, un.

Pain- Tobi.

Tobi- No, but Tobi is a good boy.

Itachi- Sasori?

Sasori- None here.

Kisame- Let's ask questions.

Itachi- Good idea, what if you and I sang?

Kisame- We'd sing Superstar.

Itachi- Like we will now?

Kisame- What?

—Superstar—

Itachi-

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

—Rave dancing by all—

Itachi-

Got many money honey, I'm a superstar,  
My life is funny honey, Have you seen my car?  
I know a lot of people, I'm a superstar,  
Everybody know me, Right from near to far.

Itachi-

I got a plane

Kisame-

Got a plane

Itachi-

I love the fame

Kisame-

Love the fame

Itachi-

You know my name.

Kisame-

Know my name.

Both-

And I just want you to know!

Itachi-

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

Kisame-

I got a red Ferrari, I'm a superstar,  
I really like to party, Am I cool or what?  
I love a lot of women (arm around an angry Deidara), I'm a superstar,  
Star's got a freaky living, That's the way we are.

Itachi-

I got a plane

Kisame-

Got a plane

Itachi-

I love the fame

Kisame-

Love the fame

Itachi-

You know my name.

Kisame-

Know my name.

Both-

And I just want you to know!

Itachi-

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

—Rave—

Itachi-

I got fortune, I got fame,  
Love it when you say my name.  
Love to party, I am naughty,  
Prettier than everybody!

Kisame-

I got muscles, I'm a stud,  
Jealous people kiss my butt,  
I'm so fly I'll make you cry,  
Cross my heart and hope to die.

Itachi-

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

I am a superstar with a big, big house and a big, big car!

I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!

—Everyone Dancing—

Pein- (walks in)

Kisame- (Screams)

Pein- How about you, Deidara?

Deidara- What if we worked for Robin Hood, un?

Tobi-We'd be Men in Tights.

Deidara- Let's sing, un!

–Men in Tights–

(Tobi, Deidara, and the 6 Peins come out wearing tights under their open Akatsuki robes)

All 8- We're men, we're men in tights.

We roam around the forest looking for fights.

We're men, we're men in tights.

We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!

We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!

We're men, we're men in tights,

Always on guard defending the people's rights.

[Dance number, chorus line style

We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yeah!

We roam around the forest looking for fights.

(A Pain punches another in the face)

We're men, we're men in tights.

We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!

We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.

We're men, we're men in tights (TIGHT tights),

Always on guard defending the people's rights.

When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!

We're butch.

Konan- What are you guys doing?

Kisame- Being board.

Sasori- And asking What If?'s!

Konan- Fine then, what if I were a rock star?

Pein- I'd be the back up dancers.

Kisame- Sing, sing, sing, sing!

(All others join in)

–real Emotion–

(Konan is wearing Yuna's Songtress dressphere on a small stage built for talent night with the word 'talent' scratched out and Pein is being the 6 backup dancers Itachi is on drums, and Sasori is on the guitar and Kisame on bass with Deidara on the keyboard)

Konan-

What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
I can hear you

What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for you

Far beneath the hazy boarders of my heart  
I could see a place  
It's something like this  
Every now and then I don't know what to do  
Still I know that I  
Can never go back

All the things I've seen  
In those hazy dreams  
Can't compare to what I now  
Every thing's so different  
That it brings me to my knees

And though, I know, the world of Real Emotion  
Has surrounded me  
I won't give into it  
Now I know, that forward  
It is the only way my heart can go

I hear your voice calling out to me  
You'll never be alone

What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
I can hear you

What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for you

I don't plan on looking back on my own life  
I don't ever plan  
To rely I on you  
Even if by chance everything should go wrong  
You come in one day  
And try to save me

If from time to time  
It's an upward climb  
All I know is that I must believe  
Cause the truth I'm seeking  
Always was inside of me

And when, I find, the world of Real Emotion  
Has surrounded me  
The many things that you  
Taught me then  
Will always be enough to get me through the pain  
Because of you I am strong enough  
To know I'm not alone

What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for youWhat can I do for you  
I can hear you

And if, I find, the real world of emotion  
Has surrounded me  
And I can't go on  
And you are there  
The moment that I close my eyes  
You comfort me  
We are connected  
For all of time  
I'll never be alone

And oh, I know, the world of Real Emotion  
Has surrounded me  
I won't give into it  
Now I know, that forward  
Is the only way my heart can go  
I hear your voice calling out to me  
You'll never be alone

What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
What can I do for you  
I can hear you

Tobi- What if Tobi said that Tobi was a bad boy?

Konan- You'd be bad to the bone.

Tobi- Tobi's turn to sing a song now!

(Tobi is wearing a zoot suit on stage dancing with Konan in a dress)

On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round  
And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found  
The head nurse spoke up, and she said leave this one aloneShe could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone  
Bad to the boneBad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
Bad to the bone  
I broke a thousand hearts, before I met you  
I'll break a thousand more baby, before I am through  
I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone  
I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone  
Bad to the bone  
B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-Bad  
Bad to the bone  
I make a rich woman beg, I'll make a good woman steal  
I'll make an old woman blush, and make a young girl squeal  
I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone  
I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
Bad to the bone

Konan- Pein-kun don't be jealous.

Pein- (turns away) Go away.

Konan- Do you still know what I like about you?

Pein- No.

Konan- Well.

(This is parodied by myself)

Konan- What I like about you

Pein- You make me cranes.

Konan- Oh, tell me we'll be the only ones

Pein- Gonna be in the lair tonight.

Both- Yeah

Konan- Keep on whispering in my ear

Pein- How we'll kill everyone here.

Konan- Yes, it's true

Pein- That's what I like about you

Konan- What I like about you

Pein- My Renningon?

Konan- That and your big sweet romantic side

Itachi- Awww

Pein- Keep on whispering in my ear

Konan- How we'll kill everyone here.

Pein- Yes, it's true

Konan- That's what I like about you.

Pein- That's what I _love _about you

Konan- That's what _I _love about _you._

Both- (while kissing) Mmmmm (break kiss) (Konan brushes her robes and Pein scratches the back of his head) Right.

Pein- What I love about you.

Konan- Your warm touch at night.

Pein- Just like last night?

Konan- Oh, yeah, all night.

Pein- Keep on whispering in my ear

Konan- How we'll kill everyone here.

Pein- Yes, it's true

Konan- That's what I like about you.

Pein- That's what I _love _about you

Konan- That's what _I _love about _you._

Pein- Let's go

Konan- Don't come in.

Tobi- Tobi's getting a camera

Deidara- (holding Tobi by shirt collar) No Tobi's not, un.

Itachi- Konan! Pein! Final number then you can hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!

Konan- Fine.

Pein- Sure.

Kisame- What if we were sailors?

All-So if we all come together

We know what to do

We all come together just to sing,

"We love you."

And if we all come together

We know what to do

We all come together just for you.

Itachi-Racing all around the seven seas

Chasing all the girls

And making robberies

Causing panic everywhere they go

Party-hardy on Titanic

Kisame-Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing

Drinking, drinking, till the ship is sinking

Gambling, stealing,

Lots of sex-appealing

Itachi-Come on let's sing 'The Sailor Song'

All-So if we all come together

We know what to do

We all come together just to sing,

"We love you."

And if we all come together

We know what to do

We all come together just for you.

Pein- To my room!

Konan- Come in and we'll kill you!

Itachi- Well I sure hope you loved our show.

Kisame- Who are you talking to?

Itachi- I don't know

Deidara- You're all pains, un.

Tobi- Why did all six Peins go into the room?

Deidara- I'll tell you later, un.


End file.
